


sometimes we're holding angels and we never even know

by IntrovertedOwl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x02, Dad!Kane, Episode: s04e02 Heavy Lies the Crown, Gen, POV Marcus, Parent Marcus Kane, and bellamy is his fave son, and he's so in love with abby, blakes griffins and kane as family, canonverse, kane is also a bellarke shipper, kane is such a dad, observant marcus kane, reflections, that's what i want from this show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 16:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedOwl/pseuds/IntrovertedOwl
Summary: Marcus Kane is suddenly hit by a realization and he doesn't know why it took him so long. Bellamy is so much like him, it's hardly a surprise who he falls for, after all.





	sometimes we're holding angels and we never even know

Bellamy hasn’t stopped shouting at the guards since Echo took Clarke away. Kane sighs, thinking back to the time they’d first landed on Earth and he’d run into Bellamy and Finn. He hadn’t known what to make of him at first, this kid who had shot Thelonious so he could join a suicide mission to protect his sister, and who, according to Thelonious, Clarke had pleaded for. He hadn’t trusted Bellamy, even though Abby’s daughter likely had very good reasons to ask them to spare his life. And when he saw the way he had attacked Murphy, he figured he’d been right. Whatever past history they’d had, Bellamy needed to control his aggressiveness.

 

And yet, over the course of the next few months, he’d seen different sides to him. His loyalty to “his people”, to the hundred kids they’d sent to the Earth, to his sister and his friends, was obvious to everyone. And not only would he blatantly disregard all rules and laws that stood in his way as he protected them, he could convince others to do so too, and follow his lead. He didn’t know all the details about what they had gone through in the time before they’d reached, but the hundred (or what was left of them) certainly saw him and Clarke as leaders, preferring to follow their orders than his or Abby’s. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. They were both members of the Ark’s Council. Life on the Ark had been difficult for everyone, but these kids had more reason to resent them than most anyone else.

 

Not to mention all the horrors they’d faced down here, with just each other to rely on, had aged them all far beyond their years. Abby worried about Clarke, he could see, but he also saw the strength in both her and Bellamy, as they were forced to make hard decisions and live with the consequences.

 

 _Consequences_. Who better than him to understand the guilt and need for redemption that came with making decisions that cost hundreds of innocent lives? What right did he have to judge them, when he had condemned so many of their own people, good, innocent, people, to their deaths?

 

And he lived with that guilt every day, trying to do better than he had before, and as he looked around at people hugging each other, and Bellamy looking haunted, he saw something of himself in those eyes. The self-blame, the deaths of hundreds weighing down on him, and no parent to turn to, and he walked to him. He had told him that he’d done well, because he _had;_  terrible as the situation was, there’d been no other option, and he lightly squeezed his shoulder, trying to let him know that it would be all right.

 

And if they were so similar, was it such a surprise that he’d fall for the girl he’d come to rely on, who was used to saving lives but now had been thrust into a role alongside him, bearing heavy burdens together?

 

He remembered the day they’d they had run into Pike when they had been looking for Clarke. Her leaving had had an effect on him obviously, but he hadn’t realized just _how_ _much_ till they’d spotted the Azgeda army. Bellamy had been restless the whole time, worrying that they’d wasted too much time, and rushing into danger without thinking. They’d needed to physically pull him back to prevent him from running straight into the Azgeda army, but later, he’d gone ahead anyway, got himself injured, and he still wouldn’t give up.

 

 _“We can’t lose Clarke!”_ he’d shouted, as Monty held him back. And he should have realized then. But he had soon become busy with peace talks and joining the grounders – too busy to see how all of this, the Ark, and the mountain men, and the attack on Mt. Weather had affected him and the others. And Clarke not returning back with him – necessary though it might have been to keep the coalition, hurt him. He should’ve known then, that Pike and his propaganda would be powerful, would give him a way to direct his anger that would make him feel useful, but by the time he saw it, it was too late. Nothing he said seemed to make any difference, and he cursed himself for it. The massacre would come back to haunt him, jailing his friends would come back to haunt him, and as much as he wanted to save Bellamy from that, he couldn’t.

 

Still, he did come through in the end, and once he’d come back to his senses in Polis, he saw Bellamy and Clarke standing side-by-side, and he was glad to see them working together again. No matter what happened, they’d have each other’s back, of that he was sure. And some time later when Echo held her sword to Clarke’s throat, he had known instinctively how Bellamy would react.

 

But for some reason, he hadn’t paused to reflect on their relationship more. Till they were thrown in that cell together, and Abby consoled her daughter as she cried for Lexa, saying she’d loved her. He’d caught sight of Bellamy then, looking at her with an expression that he knew he’d worn many times himself, but for the mother. The longing, and the need to hold the person you love, to protect them from everything that life was throwing at them, and the realization hit him like a brick wall. He knew they were important to each other, Bellamy and Clarke, they worked best when they were together, bring out the best in each other, that she centered him, like Abby did for him, but he understood, when he saw Bellamy looking at Clarke, how deep those feelings actually ran.

 

He could hardly talk to Bellamy about it, he was still shaken up by the fact that he'd been trying to kill Bellamy a few hours ago, and even apart from that, they hadn't parted on great terms. But as he moved towards Abby to comfort her, he hoped nevertheless, that Bellamy would find peace, even with the end-of-the-world approaching. _He_ had, with Abby, and Heaven knows Bellamy deserved it much more than he did.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be a 5+1 times Kane noticed Bellamy's feelings for Clarke and 1 time he noticed hers. IDK what happened, lol.
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> ~ I'm teamtonystarkneedsahug on tumblr ~


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